Whose project is it anyway?

Academic Fair - YUCK! Why do teachers assign these things? I think it is their way of getting back at the parents. Sort of like yaw!, you think my job is easy? Here's a project so that you can see just how hard my job is. And be thankful you only have to deal with your own kid not the 25-30 that I have to. You try to get them to sit down and work on something for more than 5 minutes. Oh and by the way I'll even give you 3 weeks to get your darling to accomplish this. But we both know that it's nearly impossible and will be left to the last minute and that you will end up having to do most of the work. Or at the very least you'll have to micro manage every little detail to get your darling to do said project. Revenge is sweet !

So can you guess by the above rant that I spent all of the last 2 days helping my darling with her academic fair. She had 3 weeks. Yep! She left it to the last minute. 2 days! Well not technically. She left left the hardest and most time consuming parts of it to the last minute. Of course it didn't help, me being out of town for the 2 1/2 weeks. So I get home and say what do you have left to do? Oh just a bibliography, life cycle and relief map. Humm.... ok not to bad. But she forgot to mention that the project board wasn't assembled yet or the shoe box (die-o-rama thingy either!).

So I ask her why did you wait so long to do this? and why didn't you do it while I was gone? Said in her sweetest, little, I love you mommy voice, "Because I needed your help and Grammy isn't a scrapbooker." HUH? What does my being a scrapbooker have to do with your project??? I said you could use all of stuff, tools, paper, etc... before I left. I even showed you the bins (yes bins - as in more than 1 you could pick pretty paper etc from). But basically what she was saying was trying to say was... I needed your craftiness and creativity to get through this. Deep breath, what do we have to do?

Relief map - fun stuff that flour, salt, water doughy mess that takes days if not weeks to dry. It now has less than 48 hours to harden. Lovely! I get lucky with this one. I've made salt dough ornaments with the kids. I remember that if the shape is cut out like a cookie it can be baked. Ok not to bad. Get shapes of countries cut out and in the oven to dry. Several hours later still not dry. Crank up the heat on the oven - knowing that this is a bad thing to do. But do it anyway. Carefully set the timer so that it isn't forgotten about. Guess what???!!!! I'm out of the room for all of 2 minutes. Hey I've got three suitcases full of laundry I'm trying to get done as well as this project. And while I'm gone the timer goes off and NO ONE tells me. A while later it occurs to me..... hummm.... the timer hasn't gome off. Open the oven door in a panic and discover salt dough rises and puffs up when it cooks (even at only 300 degrees). Lovely! Now what??? We get two VERY BIG & HEAVY books and attempt to flatten them. Not a good idea. as the hardened dough splinters. Oh well. It's a kid project and it's going to be painted anyway...

Die-o-rama (yes I said die-o-rama!). Even as a kid I never did these things. I just couldn't figure them out. I'd ALWAYS! pick the other option. No choice this time. I now need to help dd create a desert environment for a bearded dragon. Ok. This one isn't to bad. Out of all the ones I've been faced with this one actually sounds do-able. We find a big shoebox. And dd has been thinking about this one and brings out the jar of sand and shells. Ok. Good idea. She also finds several plastic lizards. Humm... a plan is starting to form. I remember some outdated scrapbooking stickers that the kids bought for 10 cents ages ago. I think I still have them..... but where? Luck is with me on this one and the first. YES! The very first place I look I find them. I thank god (seriously) here. It's not often that I can look for a product bought ages ago and find it.

So we begin. She paints the bottom of the box beige and we cover the wet paint with sand. She looks at me like huh? And I say - paint is an adhesive just like glue. Remember we talked about this? (Hey if you want my scrapbooking help, you need to learn stuff like this.) I adhere the ancient stickers of bushes and logs to a soda box and instruct her how to cut them out. She doesn't quite get it. But does as she's told. Next some blue paint for the sky and some cotton ball clouds pressed into white paint. Again I tell her paint is an adhesive. Add some brads to hold up our soda box cut out stickers, a few rocks and the plastic lizards and the die-o-rama is compete. And it looks pretty good. I'm impressed. But DON'T ask me to make another one! EVER.....

I could go on and tell you about the project board and the report and the 4 hours it took to write the bibliography. But I'm sure you have better stuff to do, besides my laundry is calling.....

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